Lately | The Geneva Convention: Lately

Friday, March 6, 2015

Lately

Red Amaryllis
Red Amaryllis

I thought it was about time I give a small update on my personal life in order to explain my general absence over the last several months. I realize it's been sporadic around here since December -- time has finally started to speed up and it got away from me a little bit.

What I share here will always be only a part of what's going on in my life, but if you've been reading for a little while, you know that the past year has been a bit of a struggle for me. Struggling with death, struggling with accidents, struggling with my personal and mental health. I got my Bachelors and was almost instantaneously paralyzed by indecision and the specter of my enormous student loans.

In October, I started doing some freelance web design and general communications consulting, but I couldn't decide where to take it. Part of me wanted to go full time, part of me couldn't fathom ever having the energy and discipline required to figure it all out. I worked with a few clients and kept hesitating on pulling the trigger.

In December, my student loans came due. A lot of things scared me in 2014, but nothing scared me more than the prospect of putting off paying them with another deferment. So, constantly reciting action cures fear under my breath, I walked into the store where I worked for a season a couple years ago and submitted an application for re-hire. They accepted me on the spot, almost no questions asked.

Action really does cure fear. It also cures insecurity, and in my case, it helps out an awful lot with student loan payments. I didn't want to work retail, but going back to it was the best thing I could have done. I was finally able to face my demons, come up with a narrative for myself that actually made sense to me, and get the courage to see what I wanted for my future. This isn't a path I ever imagined taking, but it has made my way forward much easier and more optimistic. The current chapter of my life is coming to a close in the best of ways and I am so, so excited about it.

I don't have concrete details yet, but they're falling into place at an alarming rate. Some day soon, I will have a similar post (knowing me, we'll keep the flower theme going) with fewer hints and more bombshells. I can't wait to share them with you! Until then, I'm stepping up my blogging game, so look forward to seeing a lot more from the Geneva Convention. I've decided to blast through recent barriers of time and software issues and just go for it.

Have a warm and wonderful weekend, everyone!

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